We live in uncertain times. Disruption is everywhere. Unpredictability is the new normal and in a
\nworld of constant change who would dare to suggest what 2018 might hold.
\nYep, you guessed it, I\u2019ll have a crack! Let\u2019s look at 2018 with crystal ball in hand and tongue firmly in
\ncheek. In no particular order and based on nothing but wild guesses, blind hope and a generous
\nserve of optimism here we go……….<\/p>\n
1. The word Like is banned from use by anyone under the age of 35, thereby rendering
\nspeechless an entire generation and having absolutely no negative impact in the national
\ndiscourse<\/p>\n
2. Management rights vendors start providing 3 years financials and pre-offer, full due
\ndiligence access to buyers, causing multiples to hit 10 times and no transactions to crash
\nthroughout the year.<\/p>\n
3. Donald Trump finally snaps and hits the nuke button. It\u2019s ok, his advisors saw it coming and
\nconnected it to a trapdoor. The Donald is never seen again although his hair gets a gig
\nhosting a games show in Las Vegas. In an unprecedented development Kanye and Kim are
\nelected joint presidents. The inauguration highlight is RUN DMC and the Beastie Boys
\nrapping the Star Spangled Banner. Like….umm….gee….umm…..like….wow!<\/p>\n
4. Banks fess up at the royal commission that they\u2019ve been a bit naughty and promise to
\nchange, and actually do. Finance quotes are honoured, credit managers become human and
\nno finance extensions are requested for the entire year. Deals settle on time due to
\nappropriate staffing levels and bank staff morale hits an all time high. They make a few less
\ndollars but no one cares.<\/p>\n
5. Malcolm Turnbull switches to the Labour Party, overthrows poor Bill in a midnight coup and
\nloses the next election to Julia Bishop. New government decides to make all new policy via
\nnon compulsory electoral postal ballots. Tony Abbot buys large number of licensed post
\noffices.<\/p>\n
6. Someone decides that selling your house, moving to a new town, turning your life upside
\ndown and spending lots of money might not be the most clever first step in applying for a
\nnew job. Body corporates start meeting buyers early in the process. They don\u2019t all get on but
\nat least no one ends up being declined for no good reason by a crazy committee after
\nspending a stack of dough and almost having a nervous breakdown.<\/p>\n
7. South Australia moves to 100% renewable energy, saving the last person in Adelaide from
\nneeding to turn the lights out. Submarine contracts are subsequently awarded to anywhere
\nwith a reliable power point, India and China win.<\/p>\n
8. Motel vendors start banking all takings, agents cured overnight of the need to nod, wink and
\noccasional twitch when presenting a P and L with a number in red at the bottom.
\n9. Governments decide that hiding policemen behind bushes is not improving road safety.
\nDriver training and better quality roads program combined with increase in speed limit to
\n120kph on dual lane highways sees road toll halved.<\/p>\n
10. Vendors realise that presenting a profit they wished they\u2019d made is not the same as the one
\nthey actually made. Management rights industry abandons premise that a 100 room resort
\ncan be run by a little old lady with a walking frame and no other staff. Verifying accountants
\nrejoice at the news. Mike Phipps Finance boycotted by little old ladies with walking frames.
\nVolumes do not suffer.<\/p>\n
11. Governments decide, after an overwhelming response to a non binding postal vote, that if
\nits good enough for a dog, it\u2019s good enough for us and introduce voluntary euthanasia for
\nthe terminally ill. Fear of a nasty death virtually disappears overnight and a \u201clive life to the
\nfullest\u201d optimism grips the nation. Not everyone is happy but no one\u2019s forcing them.<\/p>\n
12. Banking royal commission finds that a significant contributor to the somewhat poisonous
\nrelationship between the banks and the punters is a result of next to no education about
\nfinance and the real world in schools. Money diverted from the Understanding Gender
\nReassignment Program for kindergartens is pooled with money from the banks and used to
\nprovide programs to better prepare kids and adults for the day to day practicalities of all
\nthings money related. Students start to understand how banks and finance works, grownups
\nlearn a bit as well and disputes start to trend down.<\/p>\n
13. The profession of finance broking is recognised as a valuable contributor to consumer
\neducation and a viable and trusted conduit between the needs of the borrower and the
\nshareholder focused interests of the banks. In the public interest the banking royal
\ncommission recommends that broker commissions be doubled to reflect the important role
\nthe profession plays in the finance economy and to allow brokers to devote more time to
\nconsumer advocacy and outcomes. The banking industry respectively declines to implement
\nthe recommendation. Brokers are not surprised.<\/p>\n
So there you have it. I could go on but how deep a hole should I dig? On a personal note Mike Phipps
\nFinance will be expanding in 2018 with new brokers, enhanced systems through further investments
\nin technology, the opening of our Hawaii office and a continuation of our singular focus on doing the
\nbest for your clients. Whoops, sorry, no Hawaii office, the managing director has declined my
\nproposal.<\/p>\n
We wish everyone all the best for 2018.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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